8/05/2015
HEBREW HUMOR
GOAFS II: #151
HEBREW HUMOR
8.5.15
In medieval times the church
understood that one of the ways to combat satan was to to make fun of him. It
was in those days that Satan aquired a red tutu, horns and a tail. He was
depicted as a joke. Satan had no sense of humor, a lot like 21st
century liberals.
Several weeks ago I received
a joke from Jerusalem that made me think of this.
“Hello Ahmed, this is Mahmed. Sorry
to call on your cell phone number but it’s important; we have a little problem,
do you have a moment?”
Mahmed answers Ahmed. “Sure habibi
tell me what’s going on.”
Ahmed explains, “I’m proceeding
with the boycott campaign against the Jews and Israel just like we planned.”
Ahmed interrupts. “Very good, how is the Facebook page coming along?” Mahmed
says, “Well that’s the problem. Facebook was created by a Jew, Zuckerberg, and
we have to boycott it.”
Ahmed sighs. “Okay you’re right.
Let’s just instant message everyone.”
Mahmed replies, “Apparently instant
messaging was invented in Israel.”
Ahmed thinks for a moment. “Then
we’ll just have to leave a voicemail for everyone.”
Mahmed hesitates and then responds.
“Voicemail technology is from Israel.”
Ahmed is getting angry. “Okay, so
call everyone and if they don’t pick up then don’t leave a message.”
Mahmed responds cautiously, “Well
my friend, that would be a really good idea, but Israel created the cell phone
in its Motorola development office.
Ahmed yells. “Then just take all
the boycott information and put it on a flash drive and hand it to
everyone!”
Mahmed clears his throat. “Ahem,
well, I don’t want to upset you but Israel invented the USB flash drive and
actually Israel invented the Pentium Intel computer chip and the Windows
operating system.”
Ahmed is fed up and suggests,
“Let’s just all meet in person, we’ll all get together and talk.”
Mahmed asks, “Where should we
meet?”
Ahmed says, “I don’t care, how
about Starbucks?”
Mahmed says, “They’re on the
boycott list.”
Ahmed says, “Okay, okay,
McDonalds!”
Mahmed says, “They’re also on the
boycott list.”
Ahmed says, “Disney?”
Mahmed says, “Boycott list.”
Ahmed asks, “Didn’t we ever invent
anything?”
Mahmed answers, “Yes, yes, we
invented coffee and tea.”
Ahmed is beside himself.
“Are you telling me there is no way
to boycott Israel, its people, its products, its supporters and its technology
without using their products, their supporters and their technology?”
Mahmed thinks for a moment and then
offers a solution. “Maybe we could stand on the mountain top and blow a ram’s
horn to alert everyone.”
Ahmed replies, “Are you stupid,
that was invented by the Jews too. Just hang up the phone and fly out to meet
me.”
Mahmed explains, “Well I read in
the paper that every plane has a part manufactured by Iscar the Israeli metal
company.”
Ahmed has reached his limit.
“So I’ll walk and you’ll walk;
we’ll walk and meet. We can still use our feet can’t we?”
Mahmed interjects. “To tell you the
truth, the word for the heal of one’s foot is Ekev which is the root of the
name Jacob, Yaakov, a patriarch of the Jewish people. I think we have to
boycott our feet.”
Ahmed says, “We can’t even use our
own feet? Then tell all our brotherhood to chop off all our feet
immediately.”
Mahmed responds, “That’s a great
idea Ahmed, but we have absolutely no way of communicating with our
brotherhood.”
Ahmed asks, “Didn’t we ever invent
anything?”
Mahmed answers, “Yes, yes, we
invented coffee and tea.”
Ahmed is finally satisfied. “Okay
then, I’ll just sit here with my chopped off feet and have a cup of coffee and
tea.”
Mahmed informs Ahmed about just one
more little problem. “But you’ll have to have it black; Israel is the land of
milk and honey.”
______________________________________________________
There is nothing funny about
militant Islam… but feel free to laugh, God does.
From his throne in heaven the Lord laughs
and mocks their feeble plans. Psalm 2.4
Jerry Sweers
GROWING OLD
AIN’T FOR SISSIES
Sailing directions for Pilgrims of the Heart.
Remembrances, reflections and rants
of an endangered species;
Curmudgensis Americanus
Bibliophilius
site: crmudgeon.blogspot.com
